Two foster mothers helped my daughter and me build a bond.
I grew up in foster care, and I know that not all foster parents care about the children. But my daughter had two foster mothers who helped me stay connected to her.
For the first year my daughter was in care, I didn’t see her because I was locked up. During my first visit with my daughter, I felt like a father again. Her eyes lit up and I felt she remembered me. I held her in my arms and swung her around, listening to her giggle and laugh. The visit lasted an hour but felt like five minutes.
When I met her foster mother, Mary, I was pleased to see she was a realistic and mature woman who cared about children. Seeing the way she cared for my daughter made me feel relieved and comforted.
Mary also allowed me to visit my daughter at her house after we’d visited at the agency for some time. That was beautiful for us. Mary and I developed a relation- ship over time like a grandson and grandmother.
Then my daughter was moved from Mary’s home, and we had to visit at the agency again, with social workers watching my every move. I thought to myself, “My daughter and I already have a relationship. Why are they concerned about how I spend time with her in a crowded playroom, filled with screaming children and broken toys?”
Building a Bond
Once again, I requested unsupervised visits, which were granted. But the time I got to spend with my daughter was still very short. So I asked to visit my daughter in the foster home one day each weekend. The new foster mother granted my request.
During visits, my daughter and I played with toys and I taught her numbers and letters. I loved watching her learn new things.
Now my daughter is home. I feel blessed that my daughter lived with with two foster parents who made it easier for me to stay connected to my daughter.