‘Where Are You?’- Being adopted left me with questions I can’t answer

I was adopted from foster care when I was 5 years old. I didn’tremember my birth family and didn’t know I was adopted until I was about 9. One day I was playing tag and running around the playground with a friend after school.

When my adoptive mother, Mrs. Anderson, pulled up in her little blue Pinto, my friend said, “Who is that?”

I told her, “That’s my mom.”

“No, … Read More

Good Intentions, Mixed Outcomes- To give families a fair chance, ASFA must clarify the supports that child welfare systems, courts and lawyers must provide.

As a parent advocate at a foster care agency, I work with parents to help them reunify with their children. In ten years of working with families, I’ve seen the positive and negative impact of ASFA.

For children whose parents cannot or will not change their behaviors, and who are lucky enough to find caring adoptive parents, ASFA can provide permanency, stability and a loving family. But for parents who want to … Read More

Walks, Talks and Tears- I am trying new ways to get my anger under control.

I have been trying to find new ways to channel my anger. At times, I feel that I have my anger under control and other times I feel like I am going to lose control.

Typical ways that I used to handle my anger? Blowing up, throwing things and saying things that I later wished I could take back.

Just Hurting Myself

One typical moment: years ago, my kids’ father … Read More

Hard to Handle- I needed help with my son, not separation.

I was only 17 when I became pregnant. It was not the happiest moment in my house when I announced my pregnancy. Everyone wished forabortion.

I was terrified of having a baby. But knowing that a little one was inside me gave me a strong feeling of love. I told my family, “It’s my body, my life and I want to keep my baby.”

After Remi was born, I soon … Read More