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I read, I rise

Antoinette

“With Every Story I Write, I’m Learning What It Takes to Be Me”

 

My introduction to Rise was through the writing workshop at the Child Welfare Organizing Project. When I started, I was writing just to write. Then I found that writing was a way to gain insight into my life.

I never knew that writing words on paper would open up so many old wounds.

The first thing I discovered was that I’d suppressed a lot of what happened in my life. I remembered things my mother would say. Events that I thought I put behind me. Looking at my life on paper made it so real.

With every story I’ve written, I learned more and more about who I am as a person and what it takes to be me.

For me, Rise has been and is a place of hope and support.

My writing has allowed me to see that, as much as I tried to be different from my mother, we are more alike than I care to admit. At times I yell too much, like my mother did. I tend to impose my ideas on my children. But I also come from a place of love and support.

Through my writing, I’ve realized that, in my mother’s generation, they thought that showing toughness was showing love. And that my mother did love me.

Now I make more of an effort to be more affectionate, and not be so judgmental. To be more involved with my children, and more aware of what I say and do.

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