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Sugar Daddy- I saw myself as a provider, not a dealer.

It was July 1997, on a hot, humid day. All the neighborhood children were outside. Teenagers were playing in the fire hydrant spray to cool off. Younger girls were jumping rope and boys were playing handball. A few young men were playing stickball in the street.

My birthday was approaching and I had gone out the day before and bought bikes for my two children, Raven and Shai. I always liked … Read More

‘Don’t Forget Me, Mi Hija’- My daughter’s mother wants nothing to do with me.

When my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant, I believed that the baby she was carrying wasn’t mine. I didn’t have confidence in ourrelationship. Sometimes she didn’t pay attention to me. I would say to her, “Come at 6 pm,” and she would come if she felt like it, but if not, she wouldn’t show. She almost never called me. It was me who called her all the time.

But when I went … Read More

Benjamins, Blowouts and Breakups- What comes between poor fathers and their families?

In my five years of dealing with my daughter’s father, he only put his hands on me once. For three months he had been out of work. I noticed him becoming more snappy and less excited about going out to eat,which we did every weekend night. That didn’t stop me from putting the pressure on him. One night he exploded and even started choking me. I stabbed him with a pen. He called … Read More

Peeling Back The Layers- Sometimes it’s hard to see the truth in domestic violence cases.

Friends to Fathers is a New York-based program that supports child welfare-affected fathers to become more accountable for their actionsand reunify with their families. My husband found support there when we were going through our child welfare case.

Derek Silvers, who was the director of the program when my husband went there, told us that the majority of referrals from child welfare are for domestic violence. But, he says, what’s really going … Read More

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