Rise stories can help you start discussions in support groups and parenting classes. If you are a parent advocate or work with parents in a group setting, have your group read the story out loud and use the questions below to guide a discussion.
March 2008 Story:
‘Mind Games’ by Jackie Crisp
SUMMMARY:
As a child, Jackie was abused and sexually abused and developed a drug addiction and a habit of lying to herself about reality in order to survive. When Jackie’s fourth child is born with drugs in her system, Jackie hopes that her love for her children may help her go clean. But drugs are the only way she knows to hide from the shame and pain she feels inside.
This is a good story to read with parents who are in recovery or who have experienced domestic violence.
DISCUSSION:
Begin by asking the group’s general impression of what they read. How did the story affect them? What stood out for them the most? From their responses, you can lead the discussion where parents are interested in taking it.
Here are some questions you might pose to your group:
- Jackie says that from a very young age she needed the lies she told herself to survive the abuse and sexual abuse she experienced. How does that self-deception help people survive difficult times? When does that self-deception hurt?
Jackie says that she felt like she would never be a good person, and that the hole she had dug herself looked as big as the Grand Canyon. What makes Jackie feel so ashamed of herself? How do you feel toward Jackie? When has your own shame made you want to hide from reality?
- Jackie says that any emotion coming from her boyfriend—even hatred—felt good to her, because it let her know that he still felt something for her. What do you think Jackie is most afraid of? How does his hatred reassure her? Have you ever felt that strong emotion—even it is angry or violent—is better than no emotion?
What do you think might help Jackie change her relationship patterns? What has helped you?
- Jackie also says that creating a chaotic mess gave her something to do and a way not to feel responsible for her own life. How does creating a mess help Jackie not take responsibility for her life? Have you ever caught yourself creating chaos around you? What felt good and what felt bad about it?
If you are trying not to let so much mess and chaos into your life right now, how does the change feel? What is better about it? What is harder?
- We know from the end of the story that Jackie was able to stop hiding from reality and begin her recovery. What strengths do you see in Jackie that might have helped her commit to her recovery? What strengths in yourself helped you start the process of recovery or make a major change in your life?
Finally, the group can discuss what they learned from the story and what parts they related to the most. What steps or insights that Jackie describes surprise them or might help them through similar setbacks?
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