DISCUSSION:
Begin by asking the group’s general impression of what they read. How did the story affect them? What stood out for them the most? From their responses, you can lead the discussion where parents are interested in taking it.
Here are some questions you might pose to your group:
• Many fathers, incarcerated or not, have trouble maintaining contact with their children after a separation from the child’s mother. What efforts did Ayinde make to stay in touch with his daughter? If you are not in contact with your child, what steps have you taken to demonstrate your commitment to your child? How do you handle it if your efforts to stay connected are rejected?
• When Ayinde’s daughter entered foster care, he was not contacted or involved in her case. Fathers are often left out of child welfare proceedings if they are not frequently in contact with their children. What do you know about fathers’ rights when children are in foster care? As a father, have you established your paternity? What help do you need to advocate for your child in care?
• For years, Ayinde’s daughter’s aunt did not want his daughter to visit him in prison. Why do you imagine she did not want to bring his daughter to visit him? As a mother or caretaker to children in care, how are you supporting the children’s connection to their father? What do you see as the positives and negatives of maintaining contact?
• Many caregivers fear the impact it will have on children to visit a parent in prison, although children usually benefit from visits and from realistic information about their incarcerated parent. What fears do you have about allowing a child to visit a parent in prison? How can you work with the incarcerated parent so the child has positive visits?
• Ayinde fears that his daughter is angry at him and feels ashamed that, like his own father, he is not home with his child. What steps is he taking to become more involved in her life? If you are in contact with your child but living apart, how do you stay connected? What other steps could you take to strengthen your bond?
Finally, the group can discuss what they learned from the story and what parts they related to the most. What steps or insights that Ayinde describes surprise them or might help them through similar situations?
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