Posts By: Lynne Miller

What Is Visit Coaching?

When I learned about a program called Visit Coaching, which is designed to help families have better quality visits, I decided to get trained to be a coach.

I know from experience how important visits are. My own son was in foster care. By coming early to visits and playing with him, I was able to show him that I loved him even though we were separated. But visits can also reflect all the pain, anger, … Read More

‘What Did I Do That They Took Me From You?’ – My son’s time in care left him feeling like there was something wrong with him.

Illustration by YC

My son came home from two years in foster care a scared, angry and confused 6-year-old. I kept telling myself that his fear, anger and confusion would all go away when life was “normal” again, but life never really got normal for us.

Lies and Stealing

I had already successfully raised three children when my youngest son was born. But my son’s father died unexpectedly when I was pregnant with my son, and my … Read More

Winning Him Back – My visits proved I was worth my son’s trust.

My baby’s father passed away when I was pregnant. After, I felt I had to block out everything I was feeling so I wouldn’t lose the baby. But I found out later that those feelings were still with me.

For three years, life was pretty uneventful for my son and me. We went to the park to feed the squirrels. We watched Sesame Street and Barney together. He would help me make dinner and we’d eat … Read More

Good Intentions, Mixed Outcomes- To give families a fair chance, ASFA must clarify the supports that child welfare systems, courts and lawyers must provide.

As a parent advocate at a foster care agency, I work with parents to help them reunify with their children. In ten years of working with families, I’ve seen the positive and negative impact of ASFA.

For children whose parents cannot or will not change their behaviors, and who are lucky enough to find caring adoptive parents, ASFA can provide permanency, stability and a loving family. But for parents who want to … Read More

Identity Crisis- Could I believe in myself when life let me down?

The first time in my life that I really felt like belonged somewhere was when I got hired to be a parent advocate at the Seamen’s Society forChildren and Families. Seamen’s was the agency responsible for my youngest son and me when I ended up addicted to drugs and he ended up in foster care for two-and-a-half years.

My agency believed in me, and after I got my son back, it offered … Read More